As big believers in the role of grit in advancing individual and team success, we were intrigued by this February 2018 HBR article, titled How to Cultivate Gratitude, Compassion and Pride on Your Team. Author David DeSteno proposes that grace, in tandem with grit, is the two-part formula for successful, resilient teams. He defines grace as “qualities of decency, respect, and generosity, all of which mark a person as someone with whom others want to cooperate.”
The article suggests that by cultivating gratitude, compassion and pride, you build your team’s grit and grace. A team who feels appreciated, valued and proud will be more connected to one another, more committed to the cause, and more willing to share both the work and the reward.
Makes sense to us.
But as we reflected on the author’s definition of grace, we were especially struck by the power of decency, respect and generosity to build effective teams and a healthy workplace.
Decency is defined as “conformity to standards of taste, propriety, or quality” – subjective standards, to be sure, and becoming ever more so in today’s culture. In the workplace, decency should be a basic expectation – and standards should be crystal clear. Unfortunately, we know from the growing tally of #MeToo cases – and the “bad manager” stories we’ve all heard or examples we’ve witnessed first-hand – that decency is too often in short supply. “Psychological safety” is when members of a team feel safe – and are willing to be vulnerable – with one another. This concept surfaced as one of five key dynamics that set successful teams apart in a two-year study at Google. How people feel in the workplace matters: decency drives both talent retention and business innovation.
Respect is “an act of giving particular attention” – simple yet powerful. We all want some degree of attention – to feel seen and heard and valued. According to Mental Health America’s 2017 Workplace Wellness Report: Mind the Workplace, feeling “respected, appreciated, incentivized and rewarded” is – not surprisingly – a top characteristic of a healthy workplace, while bullying, sexual harassment, and fear are absent. In the same report, an employee’s relationship with her immediate supervisor is both a top five reason for staying at a job (positive relationship) – and a top five reason for leaving (negative relationship). Again, not surprising. And most organizations can proudly say that respect is an expectation in their culture, maybe even a stated value. And yet employee engagement surveys continue to surface significant blocks of employees who say they do not feel valued.
Leaders who embody generosity give of themselves and put others first. They engage their teams in conversation, listen to their ideas, provide coaching and show gratitude for their efforts. While most leaders would enthusiastically nod to this definition and confirm their own generosity of spirit, the truth is, the days are busy, long and full of meetings – often with people other than members of one’s own team. Leaders are working around the clock just to put out fires and complete the most essential tasks. They’re showing a lot of grit in the face of a fast-changing world and shifting priorities . . . but are they showing grace?
While some leaders argue that any show of grace is a sign of weakness, we believe that grace, like grit, requires both courage and confidence. Grace is not a euphemism for “never rocking the boat.” On the contrary, it creates a culture that invites diverse perspectives and healthy debate. In his September 2017 New York Times Opinion piece, The Dying Art of Disagreement, Bret Stephens explains, “…to disagree well you must first understand well. You have to read deeply, listen carefully, watch closely. You need to grant your adversary moral respect; give him the intellectual benefit of doubt; have sympathy for his motives and participate empathically with his line of reasoning. And you need to allow for the possibility that you might yet be persuaded of what he has to say.” In other words, to disagree well, you must convey decency, respect and generosity.
With surveys pinpointing talent acquisition and retention as leaders’ No. 1 concern – and studies predicting significant workforce shortages on the near horizon – now is a good time for leaders to assess their own effectiveness in building teams with grit and grace:
- Am I exhibiting patience and compassion with my team?
- Do I demonstrate an understanding that respect is about recognition (I see you), active listening (I hear you) and empathy (I understand you)?
- Am I confident enough to invite my team’s opinions and share the “why” of decisions with clarity and thoughtfulness?
- Do my employees feel confident and safe, able to make a mistake, share unpopular viewpoints, and be themselves without being disciplined or rebuked?
When leaders can emphatically answer “yes,” the results are likely worth the effort. Leaders with grit and grace have the power to build stronger teams and measurably increase the retention of talent in their organizations.